End School Violence Tags | Motherhood Malaysia

Every morning, parents across Malaysia watch their children walk through school gates with the same silent hope: please, let them come home safe. But that hope feels a little heavier now. Because lately, the news has been unbearable. A Form Four girl was stabbed to death by a younger student in Bandar Utama. A gang rape in a Malacca school, filmed and shared online. And Zara Qairina, the young girl whose death has shaken the nation. These are not scenes from a crime show; they are stories from our schools, our communities, our Malaysia. And for every incident that reaches the headlines, there are countless others that never make it to the news. Remember the saying: when you break a glass, you can try to piece it back together, but it will never be the same. This is exactly what these tragedies represent. What is the point of apologies or remorse from the perpetrator’s parents, guardians, or caretakers when what they are apologising for is the death of another child, someone else’s child? How do you apologise for a life that’s gone? For a wound that no amount of “I’m sorry” can ever mend? Because when a child dies, it isn’t just one life lost. It’s the shattering of an entire family’s future, the birthdays that will never come, the empty seat at the dining table, and the silence in a room that once echoed with laughter. And that’s something no justice system, no press conference, no apology can repair. What Parents Can and Must Do! We can’t prevent every danger, but we can break the silence that allows it to thrive, especially when that silence starts with us. Sometimes, without realising it, parents become part of the problem. We may brush off troubling behaviour as “kids being kids”, ignore red flags because we’re too busy, or defend our child without asking the harder question: what if they were the one who hurt someone else? Our children are growing up in a world filled with noise, social pressure, bullying, online cruelty, and sometimes, quiet emotional loneliness. What they need most isn’t more control or correction; it’s CONNECTION. They need parents who listen before judging, who guide without excusing, and who aren’t afraid to confront uncomfortable truths, even when it’s about their own child. Check in, not just check homework: Ask about more than grades. Ask, “How do you feel about school?” “Did anything make you upset today?” Or even, “Who do you sit with during break?” Simple questions can uncover invisible pain. Watch for emotional cues: A child withdrawing, sleeping more, or snapping easily might not just be “moody”. It could be a cry for help. Parents need to stay attuned to what their children are thinking and feeling, not in a way that pries, but one that listens with empathy. Build trust early: The goal isn’t to interrogate but to create a safe space where your child believes you will believe them. When something goes wrong, they’ll come to you first if they know they won’t be blamed or dismissed. Speak up, even when it’s uncomfortable: If your child reports something disturbing, take it seriously. Raise it with the school, the PTA, or the authorities if needed. Silence is not neutrality; it’s complicity. Schools: The Responsibility Beyond Teaching And it’s time schools stop wasting time and energy on things that don’t truly matter. Too often, we see disciplinary focus on the trivial, hairstyles, nail length, or coloured socks. There’s a long list of things schools have managed to police strictly, yet when it comes to emotional wellbeing, bullying, or sexual harassment, responses become hesitant, delayed, or buried in bureaucracy. Instead of obsessing over appearances, schools need to direct that same vigilance toward what’s happening beneath the surface, students struggling with mental health, unsafe relationships, or toxic peer dynamics that can spiral into violence. Counsellors and safe spaces matter: Every school, public or private, should have accessible mental health support. Teachers should know where to refer a troubled student before something escalates into tragedy. Regular safety briefings: Schools should openly discuss issues like consent, bullying, and online safety. These aren’t “mature topics”. They are survival skills in today’s world. Community watchfulness: Encourage parents and teachers to form safety networks. Sometimes it takes an extra pair of eyes, a guard, a cleaner, or a friend to notice when something feels wrong. Private schools can set the tone: Many have resources to implement more robust safety systems, trained counsellors, security audits, and CCTV in key areas. These can serve as models for wider change. Government: It’s Time to Make Safe Schools a National Priority The government has the power and the obligation to ensure that public schools are not just places of learning but of safety. Mandatory safety infrastructure: CCTV systems in strategic areas (entrances, corridors, playgrounds and even classrooms) should be standard in all government schools. This isn’t about questioning authority or breaching 'privacy'; it's protection and evidence. Stronger policies, real enforcement: When violence or harassment occurs, investigations must be swift and transparent. Students accused of serious crimes should not be allowed to re-enter the same environment as their victims, no matter how “bright their future” may seem. Mandatory training for educators: Teachers and administrators should receive training to identify behavioural red flags, handle disclosures of abuse, and manage conflict safely. More school counsellors, less red tape: One counsellor for hundreds of students isn’t enough. The Ministry of Education should increase funding for mental health services and trauma support in every district. Community collaboration: The Education Ministry, Women’s Ministry, and social welfare agencies must work together, not in silos, to build a safer environment for students nationwide. The Role of the Wider Community Safety cannot be outsourced to parents and teachers alone. The rest of us – neighbours, alumni, NGOs, religious leaders, and the media – must also play a part. Normalise conversations about consent and respect: These talks must start early and happen often, at home, in schools, and in communities. Challenge victim-blaming: A girl’s clothes, behaviour, or grades are never the reason for an assault. Hold leaders accountable: Demand transparency when tragedies happen. Ask questions. Refuse to let stories disappear after a few news cycles. Our Children Deserve More Than Hope There’s a certain heartbreak in realising that the place meant to nurture our children can also destroy them. A school should never be a crime scene. A classroom should never be a child’s final memory. But heartbreak alone changes nothing. We’ve mourned, we’ve raged, and yet here we are, again. The difference this time must be what we do after the outrage fades. Because the truth is, too many adults have failed these children. Parents who looked away. Teachers who stayed silent. Authorities who prioritised image and KPI over justice. A system that protects perpetrators faster than it protects victims. We can’t call ourselves a civil society if children can be raped, stabbed, or silenced inside school walls and our response is to establish a 'committee'. Real change begins when every layer of this system starts taking responsibility: When parents stop defending their children blindly and start raising them with empathy and accountability. When schools stop hiding behind policy and start protecting lives, not reputations. When the government stops issuing condolences and starts building safer, better-guarded, better-supported schools. And when society stops brushing off cruelty as “kids being kids” and starts naming it for what it is: violence. We owe our children more than uniforms and report cards. We owe them safety. We owe them the freedom to learn without fear. No child should walk into school wondering if they’ll walk out alive. And no parent should ever have to identify their child from a classroom floor. Safety in schools should not be a privilege granted by postcode or tuition fees; it should be a non-negotiable promise. From one parent to another, whose only wish is to see our children come home safe each day, this has to stop. Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner. For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!

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