You’re Not Alone: Your Trying-To-Conceive Emotions Are Perfectly Normal

Anxiety and frustration: those were the main things Janice remembers when she was trying to conceive her second child. Her biological clock was ticking very loudly; she thought she would have no problem getting pregnant again since she conceived easily the first time. But after almost three years of trying following her daughter’s second birthday, Janice was still getting her periods on the dot every month. Anxiety turned into fear and fear morphed into an obsession. How come she wasn’t getting pregnant? Were she and hubby too stressed at work? Were they doing something wrong? Did they develop a medical condition or an infertility issue that was stopping them from conceiving? Making a baby sounds like a lot of fun but those who have been trying and trying, know that it can be stressful (Image Credit: tirachardz – www.freepik.com). It's a known fact that when couples fail to conceive, they start a vicious cycle of wondering if they haven’t conceived because they're stressed, or if they're stressed because they haven’t conceived. This kind of worry can take a toll on the mind and emotions. In Janice’s case, the story has a happy ending, however. She and hubby did get a bouncing baby boy in the end and neither she nor her husband needed to go for fertility treatments. How did she do it? She simply shifted her thoughts and learned how to breathe. Janice shares her tips. 7 Ways to Rebalance your Emotions while Trying-to-Conceive 1. Exchange Your Experience with Other Mums Having friends, family, or a support group to talk to who understand what you’re going through can help you feel less isolated (Image Credit: Hannah Busing on Unsplash). Janice says she voiced her concerns and spoke to other mums ─ her friends mostly ─ who spoke of feeling the same when trying to conceive. To her, this was her support group who discussed and talked about their own trials and tribulations. Of course, there are pitfalls to sharing vulnerable information with everyone, but sharing it with the right people really helps. “Because we could connect on the same page”, Janice felt she was no longer alone in this. “I wouldn’t have gotten through that stressful phase if it wasn’t for other mums sharing their emotional experiences as well,” she says in hindsight. Also, she enlisted the support of her husband and her own relatives. Having people she could talk with opened the door to empathy, where she could bounce thoughts, chat with, and laugh about other things. In many ways, this lightened the situation for her. 2. Limit Going Online to Find Out About Pregnancy Stuff While it's one thing to want to know more about getting pregnant, do be aware that you may get a lot of conflicting information online. Information is everywhere on search engines; it’s in the newspapers and online portals, on social media, in chat rooms, and private groups. While it’s great to connect with people, you don’t want your thoughts to be shaped by fear. Conflicting information, misinformation, and manipulated information create fear, and fear begets fear, where it can overwhelm, frighten, and confuse you; adding to your stress. 3. Relax by Taking a Break from Baby-Making Seawater is healing and detoxifying. It rebalances the hormones while the beach, the sun, and the sound of waves have a calming effect on the mind and body. The two-week wait leading up to your period can play on your mind. Did it “take” this time around? Are you finally going to be pregnant? Are you counting the days, visualising the sperm travelling up your fallopian tube to meet and fertilise the egg, and imagining the embryo implanting in your uterus, only to be met with the arrival of your period? This kind of anticipation and let-down can be agonising and morale dampening, especially when you’re staring down at your menstruation, yet again. Don't let these emotions take you over! Take a break! Go to the beach! Why the beach? Because it's a natural relaxant, says the University of New Hampshire. The calming effects of the waves, sun, and sand are enough to de-stress a person. Combine that with the benefits of salty mineral-infused sea water on the skin, and you're in for a healthy, relaxed state of mind. Because seawater contains small amounts of bromine (which has a calming effect), magnesium, silicic acid, as well as iodine (which balances hormones), it heals skin problems, reinforces the nervous system, relaxes contracted muscles, and expels toxins from the body. Thus, it lets you rest better and take your mind off daily stressors and stresses. Besides, swimming is a great exercise for a full-body workout. But all exercise is good, whether you swim or work out in a gym. It'll straighten out all those kinks in your muscles and your brain, and positively impact your mood. You could also literally take a break from trying so hard to conceive as your obsession could consume you if you let it. Focus your thoughts and energy on something else instead, such as a hobby or volunteer work. It can really help. 4. Don’t Let your Period Get You Down Getting your period when trying to conceive can get you down. When you see your menstruation, it means you didn’t get pregnant again and you mourn the passing of yet another month of trying. If you have these feelings, Janice says, don’t worry, it’s natural to feel this way as she, too had these thoughts when she was trying very hard to conceive. Try not to let your despondence bring you down for days and weeks on end though. Be positive. Have positive thoughts, write them down to remind yourself of your own positive outlook, say “I’m doing everything I can to try to get pregnant”, breathe, let it go, and try again. 5. Be Sexy – Put the Fun back in Sex The obsession of trying-to-conceive can turn sex into a chore, which can impact your relationship and marriage. Try to put the passion and intimacy back into love-making to reconnect with your husband (Image Credit: jcomp - www.freepik.com). Be good to yourself. Pamper yourself. Put your feet up and listen to music over a cup of warm beverage and just enjoy the moment. Take care of your body, your skin, your hair, go for dates with hubby, watch a rom-com (laughter is the best medicine, as they say), invest in some sexy lingerie to ramp up sensuality, change the settings to make sex exciting, and put the fun back into love-making. Sex in itself, as they say, reduces stress. So, make love for the sake of making love and not only for the sake of trying to conceive. 6. Practice Relaxation Techniques Yoga, Qigong (traditional Chinese healing technique), Tai Chi (Chinese art of embracing the mind, body, and spirit for health), Pilates, swimming (as mentioned whether in saltwater or not), or even simply walking and dancing are great ways to improve circulation, build strength and endurance including mental strength, and burn calories in a low impact way. These exercises are also great for boosting fertility. The first four exercises are available for free on YouTube with step-by-step instructions for mums-to-be to follow in the privacy of their own home. Qigong especially, has been said to be great for building sexual energy and fertility. As its name suggests ─ Qigong (pronounced Chi-gong) is about drawing chi (life force) to course through your body, while “gong” means cultivation or mastery. There are specific exercises designed for enhancing the pelvic area and they're available free online. Or, you could always sign up for classes if you wish. Qigong is for both men and women. Yoga & Qigong Routine for Re-Energising the Womb and Ovaries https://www.youtube.com/watch?vFiOWs4ivlH0 7. Empower Yourself with Knowledge and TTC Tools TTC is short for trying-to-conceive. Empowering yourself with knowledge and facts will help you gain back control of your emotions. You'll find out that timing is key to conceiving. The good news is ─ nowadays, thanks to technology, you have TTC tools to help you track your menstrual cycle and ovulation and tell you the best time to place the sperm in prime position to fertilise your egg. There are many TTC tools in the market, such as ovulation predictor kits and so on. Use them to take charge; knowing you are doing all you can to get pregnant. In this respect, the Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test could put the power back in your hands as to when you can accurately plan to make a baby with the greatest chances of success. Understanding Your Menstrual Cycle and Ovulation The graph above illustrates that the highest chance to conceive is in the days prior to ovulation (Image Credit: Clearblue.com). Science has already proven that there's only a narrow margin of specific days in each month when it's possible for a woman to get pregnant. These specific days boil down to the day of ovulation and the days leading up to ovulation. At ovulation, you release your ripened egg or ova and it typically survives for only 12–24 hours. After this time, your window of fertility or opportunity closes. To complicate matters, every woman’s fertility window varies from woman to woman and cycle to cycle. Each woman’s menstrual cycle ranges from 23 to 35 days and each ovulation occurs somewhere in the midpoint before your period comes. This makes pinpointing the exact time of ovulation and the days when you are most likely to conceive a baby, rather difficult if you are guessing on your own. Take the Guesswork out of Conceiving with Clearblue The Clearblue digital ovulation indicator can take the guesswork out of conceiving naturally as it's not just an ovulation indicator but a digital one with over 99% accuracy. For conception to take place, it's necessary for ovulation to occur. Ovulation refers to the release of your egg from your ovary. You can only become pregnant if a sperm meets and fertilises that egg. This egg can only be fertilised for up to 24 hours after ovulation. If the egg isn’t fertilised in this time, the lining of your uterus will be shed, along with the egg and your period will begin; marking the start of your next menstrual cycle. To calculate your menstrual cycle (which is different from other women’s menstrual cycles), count the first day of your period as Day 1 until the day before your next period arrives. The total number of days you have counted is your menstrual cycle. The length of time between ovulation and the first day of the menstrual cycle is between 12 and 16 days. The Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test pinpoints your fertile window. The digital display window will show a "Smiley Face" when you are in your fertile window. The fertile window during each menstrual cycle is the day of ovulation and the day before. These are your 2 days of peak fertility. Because sperm remains alive and active for up to 5 days in the sperm-friendly mucus of the uterus, you can conceive through sexual intercourse 4 to 5 days before the egg is released. The total “fertility window”, taking into account the lifetime of both the sperm (5 days) and the egg (24 hours), is about 6 days. Outside of these 6 days in the entire month, the chances of getting pregnant are low. How Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test 'Knows' You're Ovulating LH or luteinising hormone is the hormone produced by the pituitary gland that triggers ovulation somewhere in the midpoint of your menstrual cycle. The Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test is able to detect with 99% accuracy; the rise of LH 24-36 hours prior to ovulation in your urine. All you have to do is to test directly in your urine stream. The Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test detects your LH surge to determine your fertile window and tells you through a digital “Smiley Face” on the display that now is the time to make love. Not only that, it's smart enough to adapt to your personal cycle, no matter how many days it may vary, and its reusable reader works for more than one LH surge; making it economical to use. Test directly in your urine stream, wait for 3 minutes, and if you see a "Smiley Face" appearing in the digital display, then it’s time to make love. It’s as simple as that. Use confidently and you can be sure your chances of conceiving are at their best. Get 20% OFF & FREE Limited-Edition Clearblue Tumbler Great news for parents-to-be! While you and your partner are having fun making a baby, you can also enjoy 20% OFF storewide for ALL Clearblue products. And not just that, you'll also get to redeem a FREE limited-edition Clearblue Tumbler when you purchase 1 (one) Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test and any Clearblue products and above on Motherhood.com.my! For more information on Clearblue products, please visit the Clearblue website. And, to learn more about ovulation, conception, and pregnancy, visit Motherhood.com.my.

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