Understanding the Overwhelmed, Overstretched Mummies: Are We Really Angry, or Just Overstimulated? - November 2024

Hey, mummies. Let’s be real, we’ve all had those moments where we feel like we’re about to snap. The kids are arguing over who gets to launch the car into the air, the laundry is piled high, lunch is due soon and the plate is too beige and the phone is buzzing with messages due for a reply, yesterday. You haven’t had a second to sit down, let alone breathe. To anyone looking from the outside, we probably seem like we’re mad. But contrary to the belief of our children, I don’t think we're angry all the time. It’s something else. Something that’s more about being stretched thin and pulled in a million directions at once. So, I couldn’t help but to think, are we actually angry, or are we just overstimulated, overtired, and desperately in need of a break? Let’s dive into it, from one mummy to another to unpack what’s really going on under all this 'mummy rage' that we hear about. Exhausted or Overstimulated? We know what 'tired' feels like; its a constant, but this is something deeper. This isn’t just end of the day fatigue; it’s that feeling where even a whisper feels loud and everything is just way too much. It’s the bickering between little children, the clanging, the constant “Mummy, Mummy, MUMMY!” that seems to go on forever. For us, it’s not just about managing the day, which is more than doable. Instead it's a lot like trying to juggle while your little one in all the glory of their high pitched voice screaming in your ear. And that’s what overstimulation is: all the noise, tasks, and responsibilities piling up until even the smallest thing tips the scales. It’s not that we’re actually angry; it’s that we’re running on our last thread and can’t process even the tiniest thing anymore. When 'Me-Time' Becomes Mission Impossible “Make time for yourself”, they say. Sounds simple, right? But let’s be real, between the kids, work, and the never ending to do lists, actual alone time feels more like a mythical creature than a reality. And even when we do steal a moment for ourselves, there’s that sneaky guilt creeping in, whispering that we should be 'on' 24/7. Or even stranger, there’s this pull to run right back to our little ones and give it another go. Sound familiar? Don't worry, you’re not alone. Motherhood is this wild mix of emotions that can leave us both exhausted and wanting more all at once. But, mummies here’s the truth: we need to recharge; not just for ourselves, but for everyone who depends on us. And yet, carving out that time? It’s like chasing a dream that’s always just out of reach. We want to be those mummies who make self care a priority, but let’s face it, some days, life has other plans. The Weight of Invisible Labour Now, let’s talk about the mental load, because it is a loaded one. Every day, we’re juggling a hundred things that no one else seems to notice: appointments, grocery lists, remembering to buy more toothpaste before it runs out. It’s like our brains are on an endless loop of reminders, plans, and worries that we can’t turn off. This invisible labour, where we’re keeping track of everything and everyone. It drains us in ways we don’t even realise. And it’s a huge part of why we feel so overstretched. Psst! Mummies, just because no one sees it, doesn’t mean it isn’t exhausting. Your exhaustion is validated. From Joyful to Jaded: When Overstimulation Hits Our Marriages There are days when, by the time we’ve tackled all the kid stuff, cleaned up yet another mess, and tried to get some work done, we’ve got nothing left in the tank for anyone else. We want to be patient and connected, but honestly? When you’re that overstimulated, even a simple “How was your day?” can feel like one more demand. It’s not that we don’t love our husband or our little ones. In fact it is our love that makes us overstretch ourselves. It’s just that some days, we’ve been on 'high alert' from the moment we woke up, and there’s simply no energy left to connect. Overstimulation often sneaks in making us feel disconnected, even though we’re with the people we love the most. The Never Ending Day: The Struggle of Non-Stop Parenting Here’s the thing about being a mummy: there’s no clocking out. We don’t get to punch the timecard at 6 p.m. and call it a day. Parenting is around the clock, and that constant state of being 'on' can be exhausting. Imagine running a marathon where every mile marker just leads to another loop. No true breaks, no real endings. And that’s the reality for so many of us. When there’s no 'end' to our day, overstimulation becomes part of the deal. Sometimes, all we need is a little pause. A moment to breathe and reset even when finding that pause is the real challenge. The Pressure to ‘Be On’ All the Time With all the pressure of parenting on social media, ever feel like you have to be the perfect mummy every second? The one who’s patient, gentle parenting, cheerful, and totally unaffected by the chaos around her? There’s so much pressure to fit into this mold, and it feels like there’s no wiggle room to just be human. The pressure to 'be on' all the time forces us to hide how we’re really feeling, like we’re putting on a happy face even when we’re hanging by a thread. And when we’re expected to be everything to everyone, without a single crack, it’s no wonder we feel stretched so thin. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is admit to our closest and our dearest that we’re struggling - yes, even when that feels like it’s not allowed. The Power of a Quick Mental Reset Have you ever noticed how something as simple as a quick break can shift everything? I’m talking about those ten uninterrupted minutes with a cup of your favourite coffee, where the kids have found themselves diving deep into their robot drawing. Just a few minutes to clear your head and recharge. It’s like hitting a mental 'refresh' button. Mummies often get misunderstood; we don’t need a full fledged spa and shopping day (although it wouldn’t hurt!). Sometimes, just a little breather where we can appreciate the family we have spent all that time raising can help us feel a bit more like ourselves again. These resets aren’t luxuries, they’re essentials. And when we get a few moments to breathe, we’re better equipped to handle the chaos. But when we can’t, that overstimulation just keeps building until even the smallest things can set us off. Embracing the Reality of Overstimulation So, what’s the takeaway, mummies? If we’re being honest, it’s that we’re not just tired or annoyed or 'snapping' for no reason. There’s a real weight to what we’re carrying, and it’s okay to admit that. It does not make us weak. Sometimes, the only thing that is staring us in the face minus all the responsibilities is our need for a break, a reset, a chance to step back and catch our breath. Being a mummy isn’t just about handling the big stuff; it’s the tiny, constant, never ending moments that pile up. And sometimes, it’s okay to say “I need a moment” without feeling guilty about it. Because as much as we love our families, we’re still human. So, here’s to us, mummies! The overstimulated, overstretched mums who are doing their best every day. Next time you feel like it’s all too much, remember that you’re not alone. We are here with you, navigating the same chaos. And if anyone deserves a little grace, I'd say it’s us. Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner. For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!

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