'Don't Try!' - A Touching Untold Story From A Malaysian Couple - November 2024

Are you sure you have tried hard enough on conceiving a baby with your spouse? Just keep on trying, then I believe you will get a baby soon. In the journey of starting a family, we are not the only ones who are desperate to have our cute little babies. In fact, our friends and family members are sometimes more eager to know when you are going to conceive a baby. While they have no bad intention of bombarding us with questions and advice, the words sometimes really put us under tremendous pressure. So, we are here to tell you this if you are struggling to have a baby: Don't try! Take it out of your head! Learn our journey on how not trying and thinking too hard about conceiving a baby had created magic in our family life. We are Hadzrul and Jacyln and this is our story. Working The Way Through Conceiving Our Little Ones #1 Dealing With The Fact That I Was Infertile Our dream of starting a family was hampered by the fertility test result (Image credit: Canva). Both my husband and I are 38 years old. When we first got married, we tried conceiving for 6 months before going for the fertility test. We knew that six months of trying was quite short to determine whether we could conceive or not, but we still wanted to get some solid scientific data. We were just wondering: Are we fit? If at all we were not fit, at least we could then consider other alternatives like adoption to start up our family. When the result was out, I was shocked. I literally cried in front of the clinic out of devastation. It was me who was facing the fertility issue. Feeling devastated, I could still remember what I had in mind while weeping, That's it for me. I will never be able to conceive. #2 Accepting The Truth And Moving On As Duo After knowing that we might not be able to have babies, we decided to be each other's support (Image credit: Canva). I was fortunate that my husband was extremely supportive. Being aware of our condition, he did not put any pressure on me. He was so understanding to let me know that we need to move forward in our lives as life goes on. Instead of trying very hard to fulfil people's expectations besides our own, both of us decided to live our lives to the fullest at that time. We just stopped thinking too much about having a baby. We also decided to buy a condominium instead of a house since we thought we're not going to have any children. Another rationale behind this decision was due to our previous career too. Both of us were hoteliers and we had to work for long hours for each shift. Thus, it is better for us to get back from work and enjoy some workout sessions in the gym or swimming in the pool. Then we could end our day with a sleep in our cosy little condominium. #3 Supporting And Loving Unconditionally Despite Failure Thankfully, my husband supported me through thick and thin before having our first child (Image credit: Canva). Along the journey, here's what my husband kept on repeating to me: I married you for you. He insisted that he married me for what I am. He never wanted anything from me like I must give him a child to form a perfect family. Everything is merely out of love. I remembered I was pregnant once and I had a miscarriage after seven weeks of pregnancy. As the baby only lasted for only seven weeks, it was indeed another devastation for me. However, my husband was still very supportive and we kept on going until the miracle happens. Just right before we signed the sales and purchase agreement for the condominium, we learnt that we got pregnant again! #4 Limitless Love For Our Children We are now proud parents of these adorable boys: Adam and Kimi. Getting through the hardship of the nine-month pregnancy, both of us were speechless when we first had Adam, our first child, in our arms. Our joy was beyond words as we have lowered down our expectations where we might not have any children. No, I think we had completely put the matter of conceiving behind our mind and this miracle came to us with only the possibility of 50%. Now, we are proud parents of two lovely boys, Adam and Kimi. Life's been very different ever since we have the boys. We shower them with the love that we never thought we would have. I have never thought I could love someone more than myself. (Not to miss the fact that I love my husband more too, though he is aware that he's just somewhere in the middle. #5 My Sincere Advice To Those Who Are Feeling Stressed Over Conceiving It's pretty common for everyone to ask you to keep on trying. You would hear expressions like: Oh, you need to have the right time to do it. Get your husband, throw him in the bed, and get on top of him. Trust me, it doesn't work these ways. Instead of trying too hard on having a baby, my personal advice would be the exact opposite: don't try and take it out of your head. No matter how much you want it, you cannot think about it. This is because the moment you take it out of your head, that's when the magic happens. That's also when you actually feel that everything is taking place for you at a time. So, take life as one part of the journey at a time. If you're meant to get the children, you'll definitely get them. You're definitely trying, but not in a physical way. Try your best to control your mind; our mind is the most powerful asset in our lives. Once we control our mind, the body will go along with our thinking. Once you know you want it, it will come to you. So just be relaxed and things will just take place naturally. Sooner or later, it will. Just believe in yourself and believe in God. Additionally, to all husbands, it is very important to support your wife emotionally. Never put your expectations or any pressure on her. Make her feel that you're there for her as how you got to know each other in the beginning. Love her for her. https://youtu.be/9Vmb1FMNYGo Witnessing Your Magical Moment Of Conceiving With ClearBlue Embarking on the journey of conceiving your little ones can be joyous with an accurate result. With Clearblue Digital Pregnancy Test With Conception Indicator, you will be able to know whether you're pregnant and how far along you are. With its 99% accuracy in detecting pregnancy from the day of your expected period, you can be well-assured that the week's indicator is 92% accurate if you conceive. With its Smart Dual Sensor™, you will see your 'Pregnant' or 'Not Pregnant' result on the screen within 3 minutes. On top of your 'Pregnant' result, you will be able to know how many weeks since conception occurred 1-2, 2-3 or more than 3 weeks (3+). Make your conceiving journey a smoother one too with other products from Clearblue such as Clearblue Digital Ovulation Test, Clearblue Rapid Detection Pregnancy Test and Clearblue Easy Pregnancy Test. You can now get 15% OFF when you purchase Clearblue Rapid Detection Pregnancy Test at Motherhood.com.my. Do share your exciting pregnancy result and moment with Clearblue along with the #Mama Cuba Try campaign and you can get yourself a FREE baby box. At Motherhood Malaysia, we wish to shout out to spouses who are still struggling in the conceiving journey to never give up and have faith in yourselves. Your little ones will come to you sooner or later, so enjoy every present moment with your loved one too.

Family Planning by

Family Fun By Sunway Malls

Motherhood Panel of Experts

More Stories

Homebound | It’s Time to Have Fun At Home!