How to Have Incredible Conversations with Your Kids - December 2024

Most children are not intellectually ready for philosophical discussions or profound debates about life, reality, and the universe. Unless they somehow have savant syndrome. The most you can get out of a normal 3-year-old is a very absurd story about why some of their toys don’t get along. But this doesn’t mean you can’t still have deep, meaningful conversations with them. Some people may tend to overlook the power of conversation, how it can foster language development and even promote social and emotional intelligence. If your kid struggles with autism or if they have a stutter, having regular conversations with them may help tremendously. But talking with your kids in general, even if they don’t have any problems with communicating, offers a world of benefits for both parent and child. Here are some ways you can have incredible conversations with your kids. Initiate Unless your child is naturally talkative that you can barely get a word in edgewise, make the first move. Some kids are naturally quiet; but that doesn’t mean their brains aren’t working overtime. So if you want to strike up a conversation, ask them a question. It can be about their day, what happened at school or even, what they’re thinking about. Sometimes your child may not be in the mood to talk, so don’t push or take it personally. They may just be tired, hungry or just not having the best day. Make Small Talk Conversations usually start off small. So, try to broach an easy subject with them, even boring, everyday things like the weather or what you ate for lunch. Talking with kids is like setting off the domino effect, one topic may miraculously branch off into a dozen more. Some other topics that you can use to kick off a conversation include: what they learned at school that day, what they want to do on the weekend, what television shows they’re watching, and what they want for dinner. Don’t be frustrated if the conversation ends too soon. Even adults run out of things to talk about sometimes. Be Prepared for Questions Some kids will drop a bomb on you every so often. They may spontaneously ask you about sex, death and (gasp!) even babies. So, be prepared to answer these types of questions. They may ask you something like “where does the sun go at night” or “what is time” and a hundred other things that you yourself may not have thought about. Be mindful not to be quick to dismiss them. Your child is in a very precarious place, so it’s important to address their curiosity tactfully. The trick is to simply explain it to the best of your ability. If we’re using the 'time' question as an example, you can tell them that it’s simply how people know when to wake up, go to school, and when to go to bed. Press for Details Having conversations is not only a great socialising tool, but it can also help you process and organise information faster. If your child is telling a story about their day or toys, or what they saw on television, ask them for elaboration. Some kids will literally not stop talking once you ask them about their interests. And for a time it may feel like a one-way conversation. But you’ve already done the hard part; getting them to talk. Sometimes listening is as important in a conversation as talking. One more thing to keep in mind is to try and avoid fact-checking. Sometimes kids will say some factually inaccurate thing and you might be tempted to correct them. Instead, ask them what made them come to that particular conclusion. And slowly steer them in the right direction. Be Patient Sometimes your kid may turn the tables on you and ask you for more details. They’re not trying to be annoying I can assure you, they’re just curious. Children have an insane thirst for knowledge, their brains are like a sponge. Moreover, some concepts, like going to work, or driving a car, may seem foreign to a child. They may keep asking you more and more questions until they understand. If you’ve exhausted your own knowledge of the subject, try and redirect them to another topic. Kids have such short attention spans that they are easily distracted by something new. Make It a Daily Effort If your kid is the quiet type, don’t despair. They may need to warm up to you, which, I know, might sound like an odd thing to say. You might think that your kids can automatically relate to you no matter the circumstances. But as they grow and experience the world, their behaviour may change. However, you already have an advantage: you’re their parent. They’re going to trust you way more than any stranger on the street. So, even if you’ve grown apart and don’t speak as much anymore, there will always be plenty of opportunities for you to have deep meaningful conversations. You just have to find out what they’re interested in—and this may involve some investigative work. The Power of Conversation Words can make or break a relationship, but most of all they are an indispensable form of communication. In a family unit, conversations increase rapport, prevent arguments and facilitate understanding. If you don’t tell people how you feel, they won’t know about your passions and interests. So, if you have a small child and feel like there’s a distance, strike up a dialogue. You may be surprised how intelligent and perceptive some kids can be. You may find yourself questioning your own beliefs and ideas about the world. All you need to do is make the first move. You've got this, parents! Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner. For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!

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