We all want what’s best for our children, but sometimes that’s easier said than done.
We may have been guilty of bad parenting every once in a while. Punishing bad behaviour inappropriately.
Coddling them too much. Invalidating their feelings. And even downright neglecting them.
Your parents may have done the same thing to you when you were little.
You may have not forgiven them for it and may still be healing from the wounds of the past.
If you don’t want your children to experience the same bad parenting, it’s up to you to break the vicious cycle.
No matter how awesome of a parent you think you are, there is always room for improvement.
Here are some tips on how to be successful parents.
How to Be a Successful Parent
Read Parenting Books and Resources
Parenting books and reliable resources can help you learn more about different parenting approaches and make more informed choices.
Your parents, and their parents before them, did not have the resources and information available to us now.
They most likely simply repeated the same pattern of parenting that their own parents have subjected them to.
There is a wealth of parenting research and resources available to help parents understand different approaches.
Here are some of the best parenting books to help you on your journey to being a successful parent.
Some parents may not have the time to sit down and read. Fortunately, there are audiobooks so you can also listen to all those tips while you’re driving to work or doing chores.
Learn Through Parenting Classes and Resources
Parenting classes and educational resources can give parents practical ideas for handling everyday challenges.
If the mere thought of reading books puts you to sleep, then maybe you need something more stimulating.
While you’ll be hard-pressed to find parenting classes in Malaysia, there are plenty of YouTube channels that teach people to become better parents.
If you have cable or paid streaming services, you can watch a tonne of television programs on parenting.
These channels offer advice on everything from parenting tips, getting kids to eat healthier, discipline, creative activities and temper tantrums.
Learn From Your Own Parents’ Mistakes
Reflecting on what worked and what did not in your own childhood can help you make more intentional parenting choices.
We all love our parents. They fed, clothed, and raised us from birth. They did the best they could with what they had.
But if you look back on their parenting styles, you may notice a few red flags. Especially if you start reading up on all the current research.
If your parents’ approach to parenting affected you negatively, reflecting on those experiences may help you identify what you want to do differently.
These can be anything from restricting your freedom to killing your independence and projecting their baggage onto you.
Sometimes good parenting starts with figuring out what not to do.
Be Present and Attentive to Your Child
Being present means giving your child attention, listening to their feelings and showing that their experiences matter.
Sometimes a parent can be absent from your life, even though you see them every day.
They may not care much about your feelings, your friends, your interest, or your dislikes. The only thing they may care about is your academic achievement and failures.
Being emotionally present helps children feel seen, heard and valued.
This is called childhood emotional neglect, and it can follow you well into adulthood.
Reflecting on patterns in your own life can help you consider how your childhood experiences may have shaped the way you parent.
These patterns can be anything from low self-esteem to substance abuse or intimacy problems.
These wounds may live on as scars, so be very careful with how you treat your child.
A successful parent treats their children as human beings worthy of being loved, not as trophies, servants or puppets.
Set Healthy Technology Boundaries for Your Children
Healthy technology boundaries can help children use devices without allowing screens to replace parental attention and interaction.
Boomer and Gen X parenting may have its shortcomings, but millennial parents have introduced a new problem into the situation – digital parenting.
You have probably seen it too often by now.
Some kids as young as 2 years old may already be nose-deep in iPads watching reruns of SpongeBob on YouTube.
This new culture of parenting through electronic devices is all the rage with young parents these days.
However, this is not the trait of a successful parent.
There is a time and place for devices in your children’s lives, but healthy boundaries are necessary.
Here’s how to manage your kid’s digital health so they don’t develop behavioural problems later down the line.
Maintain a Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship
A healthy co-parenting relationship means keeping adult disagreements away from children and working together around their needs.
A broken home is not conducive for a happy childhood.
No marriage is all sunshine and rainbows 24/7. But you need to keep your marital issues between you and your partner private.
Your child can pick up on the smallest things, even slight changes in how differently you may be treating your spouse.
If you’re having troubles at home, here are some tips on how to maintain a happy marriage.
However, some marriages may not be able to survive certain challenges, like infidelity.
In which case, arrange your divorce as amicably as possible if you and your spouse decide on said route.
There is no need for long custody battles or court hearings. Do not let your kids see you fight.
You may have failed as a couple, but there is still hope for you as a parent.
There are ways to practise good co-parenting with your ex if you are no longer together.
Practise Positive Parenting
Positive parenting focuses on responding to children’s behaviour with communication, emotional validation and appropriate boundaries rather than relying only on punishment.
Becoming a successful parent no longer means the same thing as it did 20 years ago.
Most types of parenting emphasise action and consequence. This strategy often involves punishment.
Positive parenting transforms that concept to address problems at the root without hurting or traumatising your kids.
Positive parenting can help create a more respectful and supportive relationship between parents and children.
Positive parenting includes validating your child’s emotions, communicating rules in a kind manner, and letting them have some independence.
Raising the Next Generation of Adults
You’re not just raising a child for the sake of raising a child.
Some people may not understand the gravity of parenthood. Your child will not just grow up to be your child.
They will one day become teachers, leaders, CEOs, business owners, and one day, even parents themselves.
They will no doubt shape the world in their own image when they eventually find their place in it. For better or for worse.
Parenting is a privilege.
It’s to create a better world for the next generation of human beings on the planet.
Remember, the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.
You’ve got this, parents!
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.
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