We have seen so many parents trying to take their children away from seeing their grandparents, not all but most. It’s either out of the reason of distance or emotional detachment. Keep in mind though, no matter how tough your relationship is between you and your parents, your child should not be dragged into the mess. Or are you too busy with work that you have no time bringing your children to see your grandchildren? Despite the busy schedule or the dispute between your parents, you should bring your children to see them as often as you can. If you have a good relationship with your grandparents, then your children should too.
Grandparents are not only for free babysitting service. They offer a lot more than that. The intergenerational relationship between your children and your parents will be beneficial for the child itself. They don’t have to stay for three days three nights at their grandparents’ house, nor they don’t have stay for a night. All they need is a time (half a day, top) to spend time with their grandparents. Why do they need to spend time with their grandparents? Here are the reasons why:
To teach them the importance of family
Grandparents are the perfect example of why we should appreciate family more. If you bring your children to balik kampong (going back to hometown) more, they will know the importance of family. Teaching them at early years that they have to put family first above anything else can be hard since most grandparents’ house won’t have the gadgets and video games. But since now is the 21st Century, grandparents will make the initiative to have those advance gadgets for their grandchildren. It is important that you show a good value and relationship with your parents or grandparents (if you still have) so your children won’t be following the wrong footsteps. It will be most likely to have your children hate going back to you once they have a family because of how you treat your parents. So keep in mind, what goes around comes back around.
Take your kids to the family gatherings. Take them to the family barbeque at your parents’ house. Send them for a camp with their grandparents. Have an ice cream session at the ice cream parlor down the street with their grandparents. Anything to make them spend time and have fun with your parents before it’s too late.
To enhance their emotional intelligence
Now, this is an uncommon thing to say about bringing your children to balik kampong more frequently, but yes, it is a fact. By going back to your hometown to bring your children to see their grandparents will enhance their emotional intelligence in which, they will adjust their emotional response to different situations. Since your parents are getting older, their behaviours and feelings will change little by little. Your children will learn how to react if their grandparents are too tired to play with them. Are they going to throw tantrum or are they going to understand? If their grandmother baked cookies and she said to wait because it’s hot. Are they going to get mad and just take it or are they going to follow what she told them? If they are playing a game and their granddad loses, but he didn’t mind. They would learn how to handle the situation like their granddad did.
These little things are what matter the most in the development of every child. What they see everyday, they will reflect back through their behaviour. While technical things like really making them sit down to learn things are important, these things are more important. Children are not like adults. Adults are easier to follow orders or instructions (well, most of them are) but children learn things through what they see everyday.
To adapt to new surroundings like at their grandparents’ house
If you don’t live with your parents, then this is a good step to teach your kids to adapt to the new surrounding. It’s natural for parents to protect their kids by staying home, especially for new parents. However, it is also important for kids to try to adapt to new surroundings like the park or the daycare. If you are not too sure about letting them play in public areas like that, then you should take them to your parents’ house. Your parents have raised you; they know how to take care of your children. If you do decide to try to raise your children differently, then talk to your parents of your in-laws regarding how you take care of your children. You do have the rights to say so.
It is highly recommended to take your kids balik kampong if your kids are afraid to meet new people or go to new places even when they have been there multiple times. Your parents’ place is the best place to make them adjust and face their fear.
To make them learn new things from their grandparents
Have you ever seen Masterchief junior? Then you know what we meant. Most of the kids there will say they learnt the cooking skills from their grandma (which is so adorable!) It is true that most grandparents will and want to teach their grandchildren new things like cooking or gardening. Some parents have doubts about making them learn how to cook because either it’s too dangerous or it’s useless. But grandparents are stubborn, even when we told them not to make them play in the kitchen!